Waning Moon
by Anomolly
Summary: When Bella's fiance Jake dies suddenly, she leaves Forks behind to begin a new life in Tennessee. Rated M cause, well.. that's how I roll.
1. Prologue

**A/N **

**Don't own the characters – they belong to Stephenie Meyer, but the story is mine. I'm using this to wiggle my way free of a horrendous writer's block I've suffered from for some time. Please be nice and let me know what you think! **

**Prologue**

_The time between the Full Moon & the New Moon is known as the Waning moon; meaning the moon is decreasing in size but gaining in inward strength. It is a time to go inward to receive wisdom & information & to let go of things, attitudes or people who no longer contribute to your life or are detrimental to your goals._

As I looked at the ring staring at me from the jewelry box on the dresser, I had a hard time believing that it had been a little over a year since Jake died. His father, Billy had always warned him about the dangers of motorcycles. September thirteenth, my twenty-seventh birthday. Rushing home from the garage because he wanted to surprise me with tickets to see Iron & Wine in Olympia, he lost control rounding a corner too fast on the One-Ten. What a difference a year can make.

I remember it like it was yesterday.

For six months after the funeral, all I could do was eat, sleep and cry. Not necessarily in that order. I was a zombie, a basket-case. It was during one of my many overactive dreams of Jake coming home to me when I woke in a start, covered in sweat that I realized it. I had to get out of this town!

There was no way that I could stay in Forks any longer without Jake. The memories were too much. Charlie, my father, was nowhere near retiring as the Chief of Police and the thought of leaving him made me crazy, but not even that could make me stay. Besides, there are phones and e-mail and even video conferencing to get us through the miles.

When I told him that I was leaving, I knew he was hurt. The pain in the eyes that mirrored mine told me that much. But, I could also see the glimmer of understanding. I would never be able to shake the loss of my Fiancé as long as I stayed. Luckily, he knew that too.

What he had a difficult time dealing with was the fact that I was moving three quarters of the way across the country to my Grandparent's old place in Tennessee. To the old mansion house on the Elk River that had been in my mother, Renee's family for over a hundred years. Renee was their only child and she was having way too good a time in Jacksonville with her new husband Phil to take care of it. I loved that old place and all of the memories I had from going there as a child. It seemed only natural for me to go now.

I loaded everything that I could in the back of the truck and after a tearful goodbye to Charlie, I left it all behind. I'd sold the house that Jake and I called home and all of the furniture with it. I didn't need it where I was going and it would only be a painful reminder. It was imperative that I sever all ties. It was the only way that I would make it through with my sanity in tact.

I climbed in the cab and shut the door of the truck and with a wave out the window to my dad I started the first of 2800 miles to my new home and my new life.


	2. Home

**A/N - don't own the characters, but the story is mine... Please let me know what you think!**

I crossed the state line from Kentucky into Tennessee on a clear, brisk morning in late March. I knew it wasn't far now. After two nights spent in non-descript hotels in non-descript places, I was ready to get home.

"Home – I like the sound of that," I answered my own thought and a smile crossed my lips. The volume was up on the iPod and I hummed along with Ryan Adams to "Goodnight Rose."

Forty-five minutes later I was driving through downtown Nashville. It had changed so much since I had been through last. Must've been ten years ago, because the Tennessee Oilers had just moved from Houston and were at their temporary home in Memphis then. **Home of the Tennessee Titans **I read as I drove past the huge stadium on the right side of I-24. I guess they had their permanent home now. I'd have to remember it when the season started.

Only eighty miles stood between me, my old truck and my new life. I couldn't help but be excited and a wee bit nervous at that realization. So much had changed. What other turns were ahead of me?

Nothing could make the smile fade as I turned off of Smithland Road and onto Red's Lane appropriately named after my Grandfather. The Redbud trees and Buttercups were already in bloom lining both sides of the lane up to the Big House. "Springtime in Tennessee couldn't be more glorious!" I exclaimed. I took the bumpy gravel lane a little bit faster than I should in the old truck, but I couldn't wait. My home, my new life, was finally staring back at me after 3 days on the road.

The house was exactly as I remembered it. It was large and white, built in the Greek Revival style of the late 1800s with huge columns at the front of the oversized porch. My Grandparents wicker rocking chairs were still there side by side, unchanged. I was damned if I would change it. My Granny and I would retreat to those same rockers after supper in the summertime when I was here for a visit. She would have her only cigarette of the day along with a glass of iced tea and she would rock back and forth with her shotgun draped across her lap. More than once, I remember her tagging a gopher digging in the yard at the end of the lane. She was _that_ good of a shot.

I pulled behind the house and backed the truck under the carport. After pulling a couple of suitcases out of the bed, I fished the house key out of my purse and made my way inside.

Renee told me that she'd hired a woman from town to work the house into shape. I didn't recognize the den when I walked in. Gone were the dark panels and brown shag carpeting. In their place were new hardwood floors and the walls had been dry-walled and painted a happy shade of tropical green. There was a new chocolate microfiber sofa and flat panel television mounted to the wall, as well as two leather reading chairs in front of the windows. Those changes were noticed before the door had shut behind me. I sat my bags down in front of the couch and upon turning, realized that the kitchen was completely different as well. The half wall that had separated the spaces was gone and it was now one large open space. The cabinets were refinished in a gorgeous cherry stain to match the woodwork in the house and there were all new stainless appliances. "Wow, Renee. Don't spare any expense, why don't ya?" I mumbled.

I grabbed a glass from the cabinet and walked to the refrigerator to get a drink of water. There I noticed an envelope with my name on it. Curious, I pulled it from its place under the magnet and ripped it open pulling the folded note enclosed.

_Dearest Isabella, _

_I hope that the work that has been completed is to your satisfaction. Your Mother told me your preferred color pallet. We are not yet finished in the remainder of the home, so I will be calling after you arrive to set up a meeting so we may discuss what else you would like to see done in conjunction with your Mother's requests. _

_Welcome home, dear._

_Yours, _

_Esme Cullen_

Never being one for extravagant style, I wasn't sure how much more Ms. Cullen would need to do. The house as I remembered it was good enough for me. Mom did get the color right, though. Green had always been my favorite color. I decided to take a walk through the remainder of the house to see what else had been changed. I opened the door into the main foyer behind the staircase and what I saw surprised me. "I guess I won't have any peace and serenity for a while." I stated flatly. The carpet was pulled from the walls and rolled in sections. The tacks had yet to be pulled from the floor. Not wanting to look any further, I turned back into the den shutting the door swiftly behind me.

I grabbed my suitcases and took them through my bathroom off the den and into my Granny's bedroom. I had decided on my way down that her room would become my own. There was a nice sized bathroom between it and the den and it encompassed one of my favorite things in this house, the old claw-foot tub. As I was putting things away, the ring of the phone startled me. I nearly jumped out of my skin.

"Hello?" I answered. "Bella!" Renee exclaimed. "You made it. I was so worried. I've been trying your cell for the last hour and half and was getting ready to call Charlie to have him make a few phone calls and send the Sheriff out to look for you!" "Mom, I'm fine. Don't over-react. Sorry. My phone is out in the truck and it must be on vibrate. I got here about fifteen minutes ago and just started unpacking my suitcase. No need to worry. I made it okay."

"Good. I'm glad to hear it. How was your trip? Did you have any trouble? What do you think of the renovations?" she asked. "The trip was fine, Mom. Uneventful, really, but I expected the house to be the same. You didn't have to go through the trouble. I liked it the way it was. Plus, there's no telling how much money you've spent on the work!"

"Bella, darlin'," she said sweetly. "What else would I use the inheritance that Mom and Dad left me on? With the money that Phil is bringing in from playing ball, I don't need it. Besides, the house was screaming 'Update!' Have you talked to Mrs. Cullen yet?"

"No, I haven't talked to her. She left me a note on the fridge saying that she would call me to set up a work schedule. I didn't make it into the front of the house because it's so torn up. The carpet has been pulled, but it's still lying in the floor. What else have you asked her to do?"

"Not too much." She replied. "She is going to refinish the hardwoods throughout the house and paint upstairs and downstairs. I didn't know what room you would claim as your own, so she's also having a bathroom installed upstairs. For that large a house, there just aren't enough bathrooms."

"How long is this going to take, Mom?" I asked frankly. "Not to sound ungrateful, but a little peace and quiet would be nice and from the look of it, it's going to take months. I had already decided to take Granny's room since it had the big bathroom with the tub. Besides, I need some time to myself to think and look for a job."

"Bella, I've already found the most wonderful thing for you!" Mom exclaimed, trying to keep the mood upbeat as she knew that I didn't want her or anyone else fawning all over me. "Do you remember Mr. Parks in town? He owned the quaint little bookstore on the square."

"I remember the bookstore, but not Mr. Parks. Why?" I asked inquisitively, not knowing where she was headed with this part of the conversation.

"Well, Bella," she said. "Mr. Parks' daughter is a good friend of our cousin Randee Lyn and when I called to tell her that you were moving down, she told me that he was planning on selling the bookstore."

"Mom! You didn't." I exclaimed with a twinge of disgust in my voice. I knew my Mother was only looking out for me, but I didn't want to feel like a charity case. Not even to her.

"Darlin, I only wanted to make the transition easier for you. Besides, you love books and you love to read. So, I bought the bookstore and made you the sole owner. You'll just need to go by Mr. Dickey's office one day this week to sign the agreement. It's yours, Bella. Yours to love and I know you will."

"Thanks, Mom. I do appreciate it. It's just all a bit overwhelming right now." I replied as I choked back a sob. "I hate to cut this short, but I need to get the remainder of the stuff out of the truck and finish unpacking at a decent hour. I didn't stop by the grocery coming through town, so I want to get that done before it gets dark so I don't get lost."

"It's okay, Bells. I understand completely. Please don't think I'm being too pushy. I just wanted to make the transition as easy as possible for you. You've been through so much and this is your new beginning." She sobbed. I did know that she had best interest at heart. "I'll e-mail you later in the week to see how things are going. Take your time with the book store. Everything's already been done. You're just taking over from the previous owner."

"Okay. I will work on getting settled here for a few days. Thank you again, Mom. I love you. Talk to you soon." I told her and hung the phone back in its cradle and slid down the wall to the floor releasing all the tears I'd held while on the phone.

_Jake, where are you when I need you? Why did you have to leave me? You screwed up my whole life. Look at me now. I'm three quarters across the country and a blubbering mess. _

_Stop it, Bella. Shit happens and you move on. Get your ass up and finish unpacking your things. You still need to go to the grocery before it gets dark. No getting lost in the backwoods of nowhere on your first day in town. _

That little voice in my head was always good for a chuckle. The two sides of my brain were always in a constant battle with one another. I did have to admit that I was, in fact, in the backwoods of nowhere and didn't want to get lost. Besides, I didn't want tears ruining my first day at home. "My home. My new life." I breathed. "Let's get this party started," I answered myself sarcastically.

It took about an hour to unload the truck, after which I was a bit sweaty. I looked at my watch to surmise the time. "Two o'clock. Time enough for a quick shower before heading back into town." Daylight savings was still a few weeks away, so time was running short. I grabbed my toiletries and headed to get cleaned up.

I changed into jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt, threw on my favorite old Chucks and pulled my wet hair into a huge knot at the back side of my head. Grabbed my purse and keys and made my way out the door. The trip to town was a quick one, and things started looking familiar to me.

The old Lincoln Theatre was still there. I'd been to many movies there as a child. I found Mr. Dickey's office and also saw **Parks' Books And Things**. My store. The name would definitely change. Three doors from the book store, I saw a sign that read **Esme Cullen Interiors** in an elegant, swirly font. The window was surrounded with large, plush velvet draperies in a gorgeous hue of violet. There was an oversized reading chair with a vase of Hyacinths, Tulips, Baby's Breath & Buttercups on the table beside it. Mrs. Cullen definitely had a sense of inviting warmth in her style.

I made my way to the west side of the square and found Gerald's Food Land two blocks later. I pulled into a spot and made my way inside. I didn't want to get too much, just a few things to get me through a couple of days. I strolled up and down the aisles getting only what I needed. Bread, eggs, sandwich meat, a bag of salad, dressing and milk would do it.

Once I paid the cashier for my things, I grabbed my two bags and headed out to the truck. I was fumbling awkwardly through my purse for my keys not paying attention to my surroundings when I lost my footing and collided with something hard that held onto me.

As I looked up to see what I had run into, the blood rushed to my face. Staring back at me were the loveliest green eyes that I'd ever beheld.

"Are you okay?" the mouth below those dancing green eyes questioned.

"I. I.. I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. I'm fine." I stammered, more embarrassed than anything. Leave it to clumsy Bella to cause a commotion on her first day in town.

"I'm Edward. May I carry your bags for you?" He asked as his arms retreated from their hold on me. He pulled the bags from my grip without giving me a chance to respond.

"Thank you, Edward," I said flatly, "but I can manage on my own." trying to get the bags from him.

With a crooked grin, he asked "Which is your vehicle? I don't mind one bit."

"There, that's me." I sighed defensively, pointing to my old truck. "Thank you for your help."

As he put the bags in the back of the truck, I climbed in the cab and shut the door behind me. When I looked up from putting the key in the ignition, I saw that he was standing outside the door. I rolled down the window, still a bit embarrassed and perturbed. "Yes?"

"I didn't get your name." he stated.

"Name's Bella." I responded curtly as the engine roared to life.

"Well, it was a pleasure running into you, Bella. I hope to see you around." Edward said as I threw the truck into drive and sped out of there.


	3. New beginnings

**A/N - don't own the characters, but the story is mine. Please review and let me know what you think. I've been writing all day and your reviews will make me feel like it's worth it!**

Everything was coming together a few short days after I arrived in Kelso. I called Mr. Dickey's office on Tuesday and scheduled an appointment for a meeting and walk-through at the bookstore for Friday. I'd yet to hear from Mrs. Cullen. I wondered if she was politely taking a break from the work to allow me time to get acclimated to my new surroundings.

I hooked the computer up Wednesday morning and shot a few short lines off to Charlie and Renee to let them know that things were going okay. I also used it to look up some places where I could find stuff for the house aside from the chain stores in town. It looked as if Huntsville was closer than driving back to Nashville, so I decided that I would go on Thursday to pick up some curtains and textiles for the bed. I honestly didn't know why I was worrying with it.

I hadn't had a good night's sleep since I arrived. Hell, I hadn't gotten a good night's sleep since Jake died. Why did I think that my being in a new location would change that? Each night, several times through the night, I would awake to the sound of my own sobs. The dream was the same, never changing.

It was exactly as I'd imagined it would be. Jake was standing on the water's edge on First Beach in La Push. Late in the day, the setting sun glinted off the sea behind him. It shone on his flowing black hair, turning it an opalescent blue. He was barefoot and dressed in white pants and a white shirt. His dark eyes shined and his smile beamed at me. Our families and friends were around us as I walked down the beach to him on Charlie's arm. The happiest day of my life was finally here. As Charlie removed my arm to give me to Jake, the sky opened into a bright, white light behind him. I reached my hand out to his and he mouthed to me "Bella, I love you now and always." He then turned his back to me and walked into the ocean and then to the light. "Jaaaaaaaaaaake!" I screamed. "Don't leave me. Not yet. Not now!" He stopped at the entrance looking over his shoulder at me.

I awoke in the same fashion Thursday morning as every other day. It always took a few minutes to realize that I was awake and that it was only a dream. I finally threw the covers back and hopped off the bed. After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I made my way to the kitchen where the coffee was waiting for me. I poured a cup and headed out to the screened in porch overlooking the river at the back of the house to think of what to do for the day. The trip to Huntsville was still on the agenda, but it shouldn't take more than a couple of hours. I needed to go back to Gerald's and make the big grocery run, not just essentials as I'd picked up last time.

"Last time," I sighed remembering the last trip to the store. "What was his name again?" I asked myself. "He did have the most gorgeous eyes."

_What are you doing, Bella? You need to be thinking of Edward like you need a hole in your head. _

_She wasn't thinking of Edward, she was just remembering the lovely eyes. Leave her be!_

Ah, the friendly little voices in my head could remember his name when I couldn't. Edward. But my sensible voice was right. I didn't need to think of Edward or anyone else right now. There was still much to accomplish before I could feel secure in my new life.

I hopped off the chaise lounge and headed back into the house to freshen the coffee in my cup when the phone rang.

"Hello" I answered.

"May I please speak to Isabella Swan?" the polite female voice on the other end asked.

"This is Bella," I replied.

"Oh, Miss Swan! How delightful to finally speak to you! I hope that you haven't been put out with the lack of completed work. My name is Esme Cullen and I've been doing the remodeling there at your home."

"Hi, Mrs. Cullen. No, it's no trouble. The back part of the house is my favorite, so it's quite alright. Thank you so much for all that you've done. The den and kitchen are beautiful. I scolded Ren -my mother for going through the trouble. I loved the house as it was, but the updates are wonderful. You made it quite warm and welcoming for me. I do appreciate it."

"I'm so happy to do it for you Bella. May I call you Bella?" she asked politely. "Yes ma'am, that's what I prefer, actually." I replied. "Great, then. Bella, it is. We have quite a bit of work left to do, so I was wondering what you had going for later today? If it's not too much of an inconvenience, I would like you to stop by my office so we can set up the schedule and make any changes to the outline of the work."

"I don't see a problem with that, Mrs. Cullen. I had planned to go to Huntsville today to get curtains and bed linens, but I can put that off for another day. I saw your office on the square the other day. It's quite lovely from the street. I need to go to Gerald's and pick up groceries, so I could stop by and see you beforehand. What time do you have available?" I asked.

"How does one o'clock sound, dear?" she asked me. "One will be fine. I will see you then." I replied. We said our good byes and I hung the phone up on the wall.

Mrs. Cullen seemed pleasant enough. I hoped Renee hadn't spilled my life story to her. But if I knew my Mother as well as I did, the whole town already knew of Bella Swan and her cross country escape from the loss of her fiancé.

I returned to the chaise on the porch and watched the water in the river roll downstream. Was I really this pathetic that I had to travel a few thousand miles to escape the pain? It was still with me in every moment, awake and otherwise.

_Bella, Bella, Bella. What you're feeling is understandable. You're not pathetic by any means. It will take time, but the hole will heal. You will never forget Jake, but you will be able to love again. _

_Love? Love, you crazy fool? All you think is hearts and flowers. Don't talk to her about love right now. Jake is gone. Let her cry if she wants to. _

But, I refused to cry anymore. At least, not while I was awake. I'd already shed way too many tears and to be quite frank, I'd had enough. My move was about me picking up the pieces and beginning again. I could do this. I would do this. And I would be better for it in the end.

After finishing my second cup of coffee, I changed into shorts and a t-shirt and grabbed my iPod to take a walk down to the dock to see what kind of shape it was in. I knew that I'd want to swim and canoe once the weather warmed up a bit. Memorial Day would be here before I knew it and I was hoping Renee and Phil could come up for a visit. Luckily it was still in great shape. The platform stretched 20 feet on the bank and there were steps on either side taking you down to the dock built just above the river. Grandaddy told me when I was little that it would be below normal height and the temperature would be several degrees warmer when the generators at Tim's Ford hadn't been run in a while. I sat on the edge and removed my flip-flops. I swung my legs around and dipped my toes in the water. It was definitely warmer than I'd imagined for the first week of April. I laid my back on the dock and cradled my head in my hands. _Tombstone _by Crowded House came on and I laid there taking in the words. How fitting that even my iPod on shuffle could find something to soothe me as if it knew what I was thinking.

I must have dozed off because I awoke in a start. Again. "Damn it!" I shouted, looking down at my watch. "Twelve o'clock. Shit. I'm running late!" I rushed back to the house and jumped in the shower to get ready for the meeting with Mrs. Cullen. I was out the door 45 minutes later, dressed much the same as my first outing to town.

I arrived at Esme Cullen Interiors on the square promptly at one o'clock. I pushed the door open and walked inside struck by the beauty that surrounded me. Hanging on the wall nearest the window was Van Gogh's Irises. While she was finishing up on a telephone call, Mrs. Cullen motioned for me to have a seat. She was a beautiful woman with smiling green eyes. Her hair was brunette on the edge of being auburn and it was swept delicately off her neck in a fashionable French twist. She couldn't have been more than an inch taller than me, which would put her around 5'7". I couldn't tell her age, but I would assume her to be mid-forties, although she looked only a few years older than me.

"Yes, Carlilse, I'll stop by the cleaners on the way home. The boys are throwing steaks on the grill tonight. I'll see you when you get home." She said into the phone before she hung up. "Bella, dear!" She exclaimed as she came forward. "It's so wonderful to finally meet you in person. Your Mother has told me so much about you."

I really hoped that wasn't the case. "Good afternoon, Mrs. Cullen. It's nice to meet you, too." I replied as I stood to shake her hand. "Bella, please call me Esme." She asked. "Would you like anything to drink? Coffee, tea?"

"No thank you, Esme. I'm okay. What all do we need to go over?" I asked.

"Straight and to the point." She commented. "I like those qualities in a young lady. Okay, then. Let's get on with it." I felt like a real heel when she said that, but I've never been one for small talk, so why beat around the bush. "Let's go in the back so I can show you what your mother and I have discussed."

I followed her into the back room. There were bolts of fabric lining one wall and several drawing tables and easels with drawings and blue prints resting on them. She stopped at the front table and was looking through a large notebook deep in thought. "Ah, here we go." She stated as she laid several room drawings on the table behind her. "Come see, Bella."

I stepped to her left side as she began explaining everything to me. "This is the drawing for the upstairs bathroom. We are going to convert the room in the far left corner at the front of the house into your closet. The room that currently joins it with the door to the hallway will be the master bathroom and we will add a door in the nook as a door from the master bedroom. Your mother told me that you always loved the room at the top of the stairs that stretches the remaining front of the house, so it will be your master bedroom. We will only need minor changes in the other room on the second level. I'm sure you've noticed that downstairs we've already ripped up the carpet and we will refinish the hardwood floors upstairs and down. The other rooms just need a bit of sprucing up with paint. Does everything meet your expectations?"

"Wow, Mrs. Cullen." I gasped. "It's all great. I can't believe it. Mom was right when she said I loved the front room upstairs. I've always thought that it would make the perfect master. I just didn't realize Mom was going to have all of these things done to the house so soon."

"Your mother was pretty specific about what she wanted. It was clear that we keep the structure the same and we dare not touch the original cherry woodwork in the house. Of course, I would never dream of doing such a thing. It is rare to find untouched cherry mantles, baseboards and trim. It's absolutely gorgeous. You're a very lucky girl, my dear Bella. You have a gem in that old house." I blushed as she said that. "The only other things to do are to choose paint colors and set up a schedule for the work to begin again. I have a color wheel that you can take home and let the rooms decide which colors they would like to see on them."

"Thanks, Esme. I like how you said to let the rooms choose. I've never really thought of it that way, but I guess each room would work better with certain colors than others dependent on the lighting." I responded. "That's exactly right, dear. You hit the nail on the head with that. Are you sure you're not an interior decorator?" she replied with the most gracious smile.

"Oh, I'm sure of that." I grinned back at her. "I'm actually the new owner of the bookstore three doors down from here. Well, it's not official yet, but I go tomorrow to sign the papers at Mr. Dickey's office. I honestly don't know what all being a bookstore owner will entail, but I do love books, so I guess it will come in time."

"That's great, dear! I'm so glad to know that you will be close. I had a good feeling about you when your Mother initially called." She said. "I have two boys and a girl that are around your age. I would love to have you at the house one evening for dinner. It will do you good to get out and meet people of your own age."

"Thank you, Esme. I think I would like that." I stated, really unsure how I felt about meeting other people my age. Jeez. That made me sound like a solitary shut-in who had never made their way out into the world. "But back to the matter at hand; why don't I stop by after my meeting with Mr. Dickey tomorrow. That way, I will have a better idea on what's going on with the bookstore."

"That would be okay, dear. Or you could call. I don't want you to feel put-out." She replied.

"It's nothing really, Esme. I don't mind at all." I said as I looked at my watch. "Wow, I didn't realize time had passed so quickly. I really hate to run, but I need to get to the store to stock up so I can get home before it gets dark. I'm still not quite familiar with the area."

"It's okay darling, I understand" she said as we made our way back to the front office. I grabbed my purse and turned open the door to head out when I heard her call "Bella, wait!" and stopped in my tracks. "Dear, you forgot the paint wheel." she said bringing it to me. "Thanks, Esme. I'll see you tomorrow." I said turning back to the door. As I did, I collided into someone walking in. I could feel the heat in my cheeks immediately, and when I looked up, those intense green eyes stared back at me. Again.

"Hey Bella, we've got to stop meeting like this." He said with a crooked grin.

"Um, hi. Edward, was it?" I stammered, feeling as close to an idiot as ever. I couldn't look away.

_Gorgeous green eyes at twelve o'clock!_

_Will you stop already and let her get out of here?_

"Bella, have you already met my son Edward?" Esme asked from behind her desk.

"Uh, yeah. I kind of ran into him last week. Literally." I breathed quickly.

"It was nothing, Mom. I carried her groceries to the truck after our little collision." he chuckled to Esme. Turning back to me, he held out his hand and said "Edward Cullen. It's a pleasure to meet you. What brings you here to Mom's office?"

I shook his hand in return and felt the shock. It started in my throat moving to my stomach and on to my knees before coming back up again. My chest tightened and my already reddened cheeks felt a few degrees warmer.

_He's striking up a conversation with you. Play it cool. _

_Don't play it cool. Get out of here. You did not come to this town to meet gorgeous men!_

The voices in my head were battling it out. I felt like an idiot standing there saying nothing while there was a war going on in my head. He was much better looking that I originally remembered. At least 6' tall or more, with strong shoulders and messy hair the came color as Esme's. And the eyes, oh, those eyes: They were the color of emeralds hanging from a string in the sun.

"She's doing some remodeling work on my Grandparent's old place. I moved in last week." I finally managed to say.

"You mean the old mansion house on the Elk River?" he asked. "Yes, that's the one." I responded, still unable to peel my eyes from his. "That's a gorgeous place. I helped Mom with a few things there a couple of weeks back."

_This gorgeous creature has been in our house? _

_Bella, get out of here. It's getting late. _

"It's nice to meet you, Edward. Please excuse me, but I do need to get going." I barely heard Esme say "See you tomorrow, Bella." as I jetted out the door like lightning. I didn't stop until I was safely within the confines of my truck. I folded my arms and butted my head against the steering wheel. "Stupid, stupid, stupid!" I said to myself.

I looked at the clock and decided against the trip to the grocery. There was enough sandwich meat for one more night. I would be in town tomorrow, anyway. I put the key in the ignition and backed out of the spot and onto the street. I turned on Maple Avenue and decided that I was in definite need of a glass of wine or three.

I was still wound up when I got home, so I drew a hot bath in the tub I played in as a child. When I was that age, I never dreamed that I would end up like this. I put the iPod in its dock on the counter and poured myself a glass of wine and settled in the tub to relax. I settled on Ray Charles' version of Eleanor Rigby. I always needed to have my music match my mood. Sometimes it was by happenstance, but this was purposeful. His soulful voice knew my needs.

_All the lonely people. Where do they all come from? All the lonely people. Where do they all belong?_

How did I become so lonely?

_You're not lonely, sweet Bella. You've lost your love and you're trying to keep on living. Jake wouldn't want you wallowing in despair. Pick your chin up. _

_Her chin IS up. And, she's not wallowing. She's rationalizing. Being sad, angry and pissed off are all normal stages of the grieving process. It's perfectly okay to feel this way. _

I couldn't take listening to the war rage on. I got out of the tub when the water had gone cold and changed into my blue pajamas. The ones with the matching top and bottom like your granddaddy used to wear. I dried my hair and slipped on my big bunny slippers. I grabbed my iPod from the dock and the bottle of wine from the fridge and made my way to the front porch rocking chair. It was a gorgeous night and every star in the sky looked down on me.

_I sit all alone, in my peaceful country home. Miles from the moon. Oh, I hope to see the stars at night. They look at my lonely life. I keep asking them "Why?" Will my answers fall from the sky. – Stars by Love Jones_

Again, my iPod greets me with a song that relays my life in its current phase. I poured my third glass of wine and thought back to earlier in the day. Edward Cullen. What was that spark that I felt when he touched me? I'd never felt anything like that in my life. My knees turned to jelly when he said my name.

_Bella, don't do this. You need time to heal._

_Leave her be you over-protective fool. Maybe this will allow her to heal._

I dozed on the porch after the fourth glass of wine.

The dream came, except it was different now. We were alone. Jake and I hand in hand on the beach. Our bare feet were in the water. The bright, white light shone behind him. He looked into my chocolate eyes and breathed in my ear, "For you. I did this for you."

I startled awake to the sound of glass breaking on the porch. Groggily looking down, I realized I'd fallen asleep with the glass in my hand.

"What was that?" I wondered to myself.


End file.
